The feeling of "All Alone"

This morning after having basically no sleep due to J having crying matches, and G's snoring, I'm a tad emotional.  Tad, ha ha. 

I forced myself on a walk even with my foot pain hoping to clear my brain but instead ending up with thousands of tangles in my brain. 

My devotions said, that God allows us to struggle so that we see how weak we are so that we will lean on Him.  Yes in our struggles we do see our weaknesses and we know that we can't do it by ourselves, but its often there, in the bottom of the barrel, where it seems like we are a hopeless failure.  Whispers of doubt are close by to make us feel like giving up. 

These are some of the whispered lies that tangled this week~
    You are the only one going through a battle and failing, go ahead and give up.
    Look at your friends, you don't even compare to them.
    You will never be forgiven for your past mistakes, they will always hang over your shoulders.
    You always say you will do better the next day, but you never do. 
    You are ALL alone.
    God doesn't care about you.

I wouldn't think of saying of one of these phrases to any one else. EVER.  Then why is it, that I would accept them for myself? 


I think anyone that knows me well, knows that I struggle.  I wish I could hide my crazy like the rest. I want to be perfect, well mannered, soft spoken, elegant lady.  Even writing that sentence, I laughed because I'm a broken pot with a lots of super glue. Yes, this week, I told my dear daughter to go to her bedroom and shut the door, because I wanted to scream.  (only instead, I went to my bedroom room and sobbed over the guilt of wanting to scream).
I share this because maybe someone out there needs reminded that they aren't alone. There are more broken pots than you. 
We don't share because we've been judged at one time or another.   
~Maybe by the old lady that sits on bench 18 every Sunday. 
~Or maybe by the young mom that is still cooing at her new born squishy baby. 
~Or maybe by the lady that writes on gentleness and tranquility and her home is magazine perfect. 
And then we turn our little fences into bigger fences with boards closer together.  And then the fences get higher.  Maybe even turning into massive walls.

But oh, how I wish, we would be real to each other. 
"Carry each other's burden's"
"Let us HOLD unswervingly to the hope we profess. Spur one another toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another."

My wise Sunday school teacher reminded us again that we can NOT base our faith on our feelings.  Feelings are all over the place.  We have to lay in God's truth regardless how we may feel at the moment.

So the Truth...
Jesus knows that I'm a mess.  He knew it when He died for ME and that didn't even change His mind, He went ahead and gave His life for us messed up people. 

"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters".  Our Father is the King.  In other words, we are the cat's meow.  We are a big deal.  Feel the worth.  Let it soak into your soul.

"How precious is your unfailing love, O God!"

"But you, O Lord are a God, merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness."

"He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Yes, you.  Even me.)

"Forget the past things, do NOT dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Even NOW it springs up, do you not feel it?  I am MAKING a way in the wilderness. 




When we belong to Christ, the enemy NEVER has the final word over our lives.  Don't believe the lies. 
Believe God's truth.
PRESS ON, Girl, press on!