i'm tired

i signed up for boot camp.. yup, you heard right, boot camp.  someone please come knock me out now instead of later.  i can't even run for 10 mins... ahh. i'm dumb.  my coworkers so talked me into it. 

This week i have to teach ladies sunday school.  i have such a time studying.  and it seems it Satan trys harder to make me annoyed and irritated by everything.  and then it REALLY hard to study.  Pray that God will push him away!

Met my friend V that has China girls :) and we are thinking about "maybe" a China trip next yr for 2 weeks??.  ah, I continue to dream.

Wanted to get my ironing done last week, but nope.  Trying to get it done this week, but so far nope.  (you see, I let it pile up, like real high.  bad story, i tell you)  Trying to be good this week and have devotions, exercise, study for sc, and for my abo test, and eating right, and iron.  so done already :)

what is bringing you down?

googling China tickets :)

just dreaming and dreaming of spending 7 - 14 days in a orphanage working with the precious little ones.  just checked into prices, G moans, but i just tell him i'm doing research ;).  tickets at the cheapest are 1,500 to 2,500.. ahh, but i want to go!  My heart is pulling.  i pray that God will lead because then i wonder... is it fair to go and do what my heart desires and use "our" money and let "honey" at home to keep working.  that's not fair.  He says yes too so much, probably too much.  He just wants me to be happy, but I want to do what is right.  ..pray..guide..open doors..

Called to China

Here is a blog of Brant Hansen from Air1....

hmm.. i LOVE how he thinks. people tell us that we should be adopting from the US and helping our "own". God called us to China. period. and we love HIS plan :)

Shouldn't we take care of Americans... First?

(Picture was taken at a church in Rwanda, where Air1 listeners have now given these girls' families access to clean water, for the first time in the their lives. Thank the Lord.)


"We've got poverty right here in America.  Let's take care of those people, first, then worry about someone way over there."

I've heard this before.  A lot.  When we tell people about needs elsewhere, desperate, crying needs elsewhere, we hear we shouldn't even really be talking about it. Look around!  Let's take care of Americans first!
Problem is, for the Christian, it doesn't make sense.
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First, and most obviously:  Why can't we help people both near and far?  Why is this an either-or choice? You've got a burden to work with the homeless, here? GOD BLESS YOU. You want to provide clean water, there?  GOD BLESS YOU.  You want to do both?  AWESOME.
And secondly:  Where's the Biblical justification for prioritizing, as a church, American people over non-American people?  Good luck on that.  It's an open-book test.
Seriously, I loves me some America.  Serving in the military wasn't an option for me (turns out you have to be able to see straight) but my brother served, and my step-dad, and my grandfather, and so forth.  I've initiated and led community-wide "support the troops" efforts in my radio career.  I root for the American hockey team in the Olympics.  And don't even get me started on the founding fathers -- I'll extol their unique genius for hours, or until you're bored into a coma, whichever comes first.
America is a beautiful, brilliant, and God-blessed experiment.  
I love America.  I have an allegiance to America.
But it's not my highest allegiance.
My highest allegiance is to a Kingdom that exalts the humble, and humbles the exalted.  It's a Kingdom that's given to the poor in spirit, the meek, the merciful, the peacemakers.  Its laws are above American laws, its borders beyond American ones, and its people -- the Church -- are not even at home here.  They are aliens, themselves, and they are strangers.
While you're looking in the Bible for "our nation first" commitments, you might want to clear a few days.  It will take you awhile, because "nations", as we now know them, have been around only a few hundred years. (Interesting, challenging, and stunning: Sometime check out where the collections from New Testament churches went. Not fractions of them, but the entire collections were sent elsewhere, to poor believers in other lands, or the border-less work of traveling apostles.)
If it seems... unsettling... to say these things, to question the centrality of American nationhood in God's plan, to question our government's ultimate authority, please know:  It's always been unsettling.  It's always been subversive to say, "Jesus is Lord."  Always was, is, and will be.
"Jesus is Lord", means Caesar... isn't.  And "Jesus is Lord" means America... isn't.  He's the King above kings, and if you are a citizen of His Kingdom, you are to see His will is done.  He's not subtle about this.  Check out Amos 5 (The Message), where He talks about a people who ignore the plight of the poor, but still give Him religion:

"I can't stand your religious meetings.  I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.  I want nothing to do with your religion projects, your pretentious slogans and goals.  I'm sick of your fundraising schemes, your public relations and image-making.  I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music....

Do you know what I want?  I want justice -- oceans of it.  I want fairness -- rivers of it.  That's all I want.  That's all I want."

Like I say, not subtle.
I say we give Him what He eternally wants, and we don't stop at our -- very temporary -- national borders.  If we are truly citizens of the Kingdom, let's let our borders be His borders, and not an inch closer.

CLUB AWESOME!!

club awesome is friday nights at 6:30.... and it's AWESOME!!  pumping yummy music!  yes, i'm 30 and i still love it :)  makes my heart join in the rhythm!   its on Air1 radio!  in fact, i like to plan all my friday plans AROUND it!  Yeah, like Brant says :)

This morning was "ok"... ironing (ihateironing), returning a shirt to walmart (ihatewalmart), and got a shot and drill at the dentist (ihateshotsndrills)... but this afternoon was awesome like as awesome as club awesome!  my girl time with J&S, it's bible study/just admitting we are human time, sharing time.... it just makes my week!  they "like" get me!  and that is a rare rare thing. 

got picked at work to be sponsored for the ABO test...hmm.  my assistant manager signed me up and i told her not to, but thought that i should.  I prayed "real" hard that God would make sure that i didn't get picked.  Ha, God has a funny sense of humor ;).    Hard Hard test to pass!  My biggest fear on this one... is that if i fail.. then in case of them just thinking i'm stupid, then they would have it documented on paper. epic fail

update on Operation Baby

so email from Awaa.. our paperwork that was to b in China this week is not going to be.. messed up with notary changing her stamp to her married name.  So maybe 3-4 weeks out.. and this time not so hard to swallow.  Hey, everyone makes mistakes and what is a couple weeks in the scheme of possibly yrs. 

I finally braved up and told my cw that I had the surgery and that it wasn't cancerous... and i just have to send a email to some up and up gov person..  easy peesy.  Thank God! 

Tonight g and i divided up the pillowcase dresses my friends helped me make this fall and i'm going to get them sent next week.  Yeah, something crossed off my list of 100 things to do.

I'm starting to feel overwhelmed with all the reading i need to do.  I love reading, but... my new years goal is to have devotions EVERY day, not just when i feel like it.  Hard. very hard.  and then girls sharing time book, and adoption books, and book club books, and more adoption books, and healthy books, and then a fun book every once in a while.. ahhhh.  and about 2 mins and my eyes are heavy...unless of course it's a ME book ;)

Oh, Crap!

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh, crap, she's up"!!!!!

Sogginess...

Everyone has some type of rain in their lives.  We're one great, big, beautiful, soggy mess -- and God loves us all! 

Rain can cause pain, hurt, and hate.. and it often is taken out on unexpecting people.. when someone lashs out about a simple thing like how their glasses can't be repaired even after they ran over them with a car.. or whatever the rain... I try to remember that I have no idea the battles that they are facing.. or how their rain makes them feel like they are drowning.  They just need someone to care, someone to love!

Give unconditional love! 

"I love you" means something very special and very concrete. It means that I surround you with the feeling that allows you-- perhaps even requires you -- to be everything you really are as a human being at that moment. When my love is fullest, you are most fully you. You may be good, or bad, or both; tender or angry, or both; but you are you, which is the very most I could ever ask or expect. And so I experience you in all your beauty and all your ugliness. But you, not what I expect, or want, or what you feel you should be, or were fashioned to be, but really you.

One of my coworkers told me that I'm just like her but I don't say what I feel like she does.  No, I refuse to feel and say what she does.... I choose to Love, not because it's easy, but because Jesus chose to love my unlovely self and I want to PASS it on! 

Christmas... and beyond

got together with both (g's and i) families on Christmas.  We had a wonderful time.. and our sister-in-law told us that she is expecting.  I'm so happy for her, but my heart is pained.
  I just cry out to God to protect MY girl for me because I can't protect her like others that are pregnant.  I can't make sure that i eat the right thing so my baby gets enough food and is healthy..I have to rely on God to do the taking care of.