My husband and I just watched "Passion of Christ". Its rated R for violence and very bloody. I hated it, just like the last time. I force myself to look (most of the time). I just can't stop crying. Just seeing the beatings, the pain, the blood, the nails, the crown of thorns, the anguish makes real. And I am a sinner, I am evil. I am not worth this love. But He did it anyways. He died for me. For you. It seems so unreal. So wrong for Him to suffer in innocence. He was/is so holy.
So happy that the cross is not where it ended. But that He rose again. A new Kingdom! So that we may have life. Saved from sin because a sacrifice has been made. Praise God!!
And I can see Jesus looking at us in pain fulled eyes and feeling as He can't get His breath as "we" celebrate Easter with coloring eggs, hunting eggs, and a Easter bunny. It's the same as those people cheering "cruify Him". It's the same as spitting on Him. It's the same as saying "I don't know Him".
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Fasting and Praying
Today begins the “Esther fast.” It is truly a blessing to have a Christ based agency. Our agency has occasionally taken time to fast and pray on behalf of orphans or a specific issue that affects adoption. They doing it again. Consider joining us on an “Esther fast” where we focus for three days by fasting and praying on behalf of orphans.
The idea comes from the Book of Esther, when the Jews fasted and prayed for a special purpose. In Esther 4:
Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews … and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
Our focus will be:
· Praying for foreign government officials to be convicted of the harm they are doing to orphaned and vulnerable children stuck in institutions with no opportunity to live in a family;
· Praying for people around the world to speak up on behalf of orphans and vulnerable children who are hidden from the public and are crying out for a mother and father;
· Praying for Haiti to lift or significantly increase their quota;
· Praying for children and families stuck in the middle of Russia’s shutdown;
· Praying for wisdom and guidance for our nation’s political leaders to proactively come to the rescue of institutionalized children who have the fundamental right to a family but are being denied by their government.
~And of course, I’ll be praying that God would bring our baby girl home and especially for China!
None of you should feel like you need to do this; I just encourage you to seek God and see if you feel led to. If you’ve never fasted before, it may seem like a weird or intimidating idea. There are all sorts of ways to fast, including not eating, skipping particular meals, only drinking juice, only eating fruit & veggies, as well as other ways that you might find to practice this discipline. It also reminds us that our efforts are nothing without God and our struggle is a spiritual struggle. Apostle Paul says in Ephesians, “…our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
God can, and does, do miracles and we know His love for each orphan surpasses our own. We are simply tools He uses to bless families and children.
Ps… I know, I know. Fasting is hard, very hard. Because we love food (speaking for myself). But it is easy to forget that kids are out there with nothing to eat or no regular meals. It’s easy to look the other way and forget that they are in pain, suffering, and without anyone to love them. Oh, we just cozy up in our big house and sip hot chocolate. May God open our hearts and eyes!
The idea comes from the Book of Esther, when the Jews fasted and prayed for a special purpose. In Esther 4:
Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews … and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
Our focus will be:
· Praying for foreign government officials to be convicted of the harm they are doing to orphaned and vulnerable children stuck in institutions with no opportunity to live in a family;
· Praying for people around the world to speak up on behalf of orphans and vulnerable children who are hidden from the public and are crying out for a mother and father;
· Praying for Haiti to lift or significantly increase their quota;
· Praying for children and families stuck in the middle of Russia’s shutdown;
· Praying for wisdom and guidance for our nation’s political leaders to proactively come to the rescue of institutionalized children who have the fundamental right to a family but are being denied by their government.
~And of course, I’ll be praying that God would bring our baby girl home and especially for China!
None of you should feel like you need to do this; I just encourage you to seek God and see if you feel led to. If you’ve never fasted before, it may seem like a weird or intimidating idea. There are all sorts of ways to fast, including not eating, skipping particular meals, only drinking juice, only eating fruit & veggies, as well as other ways that you might find to practice this discipline. It also reminds us that our efforts are nothing without God and our struggle is a spiritual struggle. Apostle Paul says in Ephesians, “…our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”
God can, and does, do miracles and we know His love for each orphan surpasses our own. We are simply tools He uses to bless families and children.
Ps… I know, I know. Fasting is hard, very hard. Because we love food (speaking for myself). But it is easy to forget that kids are out there with nothing to eat or no regular meals. It’s easy to look the other way and forget that they are in pain, suffering, and without anyone to love them. Oh, we just cozy up in our big house and sip hot chocolate. May God open our hearts and eyes!
Giving
You ever notice the most giving people are the ones that don't have
the most. I'm not just talking about money. I'm talking about
everything. Their support, their money, their time, their love, their
heart, their ears, their souls, their prayers. They just "seep"
blessings into others. I have these in my life.
I want to learn from them. To be able to "breathe" joy, life into others
This is not done by self. I know this well.
One must have a higher power to create this.
I want to learn from them. To be able to "breathe" joy, life into others
This is not done by self. I know this well.
One must have a higher power to create this.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Mind overload
My mind feels on overload. Thinking about precious China girls. Thinking about medical conditions. Thinking about if I should go to spend 2 weeks in a Chinese orphanage.
It's so expensive, so I just keep praying. Is it fair to go without G? Is it fair to spend all that money on something I want to do. Do I go a cheaper way? Or is safety worth money? and if so, how much?
The doctor appointment this weekend was great. She had a wonderful personality and I'm so excited about her working for us later. She is the one that we will get to review our files. She spoke in our language :) and would point to the body parts that she was talking about or show us pictures.
We had a great (amazing decor) room for the evening in celebration of our upcoming anniversary. Slept in. Ate yummy. Just being together. Took a evening walk in the city streets.
And good old G got me back in time to go ice skating again. With friends :)
But by Sunday afternoon, one crashes for a long winter nap.
It's so expensive, so I just keep praying. Is it fair to go without G? Is it fair to spend all that money on something I want to do. Do I go a cheaper way? Or is safety worth money? and if so, how much?
The doctor appointment this weekend was great. She had a wonderful personality and I'm so excited about her working for us later. She is the one that we will get to review our files. She spoke in our language :) and would point to the body parts that she was talking about or show us pictures.
We had a great (amazing decor) room for the evening in celebration of our upcoming anniversary. Slept in. Ate yummy. Just being together. Took a evening walk in the city streets.
And good old G got me back in time to go ice skating again. With friends :)
But by Sunday afternoon, one crashes for a long winter nap.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Special Needs Checklist
Today was the day. But now tomorrow is. She had to cancel (sick child and her husband working the ER). But she called me personally and is going to see us tomorrow (her day off and a Saturday!). Praise God. But now I get one more night to wait.
I can't sleep. My stomach hurts. And I just keep praying that God can use Dr Dibbs to help us.
When you fill out all of your paperwork for adoption, it is endless. seriously.
We felt personally invaded. Then on top of all that, we are asked to "check" what "special needs" that we would accept.
Completely. Overwhelming.
Number one, 3/4 of the words, I had never heard of.
Number two, you feel as if you are very selfish
Number three, you want to quit
So in meeting some new adoption friends, they gave us this doctor's name and number. I felt like it was God sent. So excited about meeting her. She is going to explain all kinds of medical terms to us and color code them into mild, moderate, and severe.
G wanted to go get new phones for us this morning, but couldn't because of our app, but now... he's heading there :) He's smiling. wonder if he will be smiling when he comes home? I decided not to go along, because phone stores do not make me smile.
G doesn't know this, but I just want to get back from the city on Saturday soon enough not to miss the public ice skate in the evening. #thisisaJamie'sport,butG's. But I have been thinking if he gets a new phone, he can just sit on the side and play and I can skate my little pea pickin heart out. I'll let you know how that works out.
I can't sleep. My stomach hurts. And I just keep praying that God can use Dr Dibbs to help us.
When you fill out all of your paperwork for adoption, it is endless. seriously.
We felt personally invaded. Then on top of all that, we are asked to "check" what "special needs" that we would accept.
Completely. Overwhelming.
Number one, 3/4 of the words, I had never heard of.
Number two, you feel as if you are very selfish
Number three, you want to quit
So in meeting some new adoption friends, they gave us this doctor's name and number. I felt like it was God sent. So excited about meeting her. She is going to explain all kinds of medical terms to us and color code them into mild, moderate, and severe.
G wanted to go get new phones for us this morning, but couldn't because of our app, but now... he's heading there :) He's smiling. wonder if he will be smiling when he comes home? I decided not to go along, because phone stores do not make me smile.
G doesn't know this, but I just want to get back from the city on Saturday soon enough not to miss the public ice skate in the evening. #thisisaJamie'sport,butG's. But I have been thinking if he gets a new phone, he can just sit on the side and play and I can skate my little pea pickin heart out. I'll let you know how that works out.
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