HIS (God's) image

I'm at 19 out of 20 for this week.  I would like to take a sledge hammer to "it".  Make it hurt too. 

My life isn't perfect...
    I'm missing my girl, I don't always like my job, tired of fighting the urge to eat, tired of exercising, hating the missing Godly morals of most of society, I'm tired of feeling very unbeautiful, I get tired of the daily grind, and somedays, Love isn't easy, I get tired of my spiritual battle, and just long for heaven. 

but...
I wouldn't want to be anybody else

God made me in His image

You are too.

Let's live like it.

training

This week has been one of a kind.  We (2 coworkers and I) started our training for our 5K with obstacles in May.  20miles running or walking, 200 sit ups, and 100 push ups.  I just finished this morning and now have TWO day off from exercising.  I feel like a won a gold metal!! yoohoo.  My body feels like a gnat smeared on a windshield of a race car.  And I have a cold.  And I had to work overtime this week.  And I have been called in sick (see last post, I'm not over that yet :).  And I can NOT stop thinking about food. (one day, I told G that I'm sure that for 5 mins, two times, I did stopped thinking about eating.  Oh, and I gained three lbs (makes me cross).
Well, I am munching on my two eggs and got to hang up some laundrey, style my hair and get to work on time. 
So have a fabulous day, I definitive going to :) cause I don't have to look at my treadmill till monday... I feel very singy songy.

Call me in

So again our manager is off sick and I somehow get put in charge.  *at least it seems like it.  I'm at work for hr and I'm starting to have a sore throat and getting those morning yawns.  I'm starting to shut down and am telling my coworker D about my throat and that I may need some caffeine.  She tells me "you don't look good".  Meanwhile behind me another coworker C is listening.  Well, C disappears for a few minutes and then comes back and announces that she called the "district manager" to tell her that I'm sick and need to go home, so we need more help.  HELLO?!? 
me..What??
her..You are sick, you need to go home.
me..What??  I have a cold and am tired.  But I'm not sick.  I'm not going anywhere.
her.. Well, I told her that you were.
me.. Please tell me you are joking.

me.. Please inform me next time BEFORE you call me in sick
her..(throwing her hands in the air, and getting loud)  I am just trying to help and next time I will not listen or open my mouth.
me..(thinking...please DONT open your mouth)

me.. (looking like a turd)(calling the manager)..umm, we had a misunderstanding, I am not sick, we do not need help, and i am not going home

time needed to push screwdrivers through my eyes......arghh

later in the day
me.. (coworker S and I talking)  this place gives me anxiety
her.. (good olde C)  I don't let this place get to me....(see it running off her shoulders..)
me..  (mouth falling open) (mind is telling mouth to stay closed) (she obvious doesn't have her coworkers calling her sick just because)))!!!!!

Pink & Red & Hearts

I don't like all holidays.  Like Mother's Day, nor Father's Day.  It just makes my heart break, where is our daughter?  Even Christmas and Thanksgiving ~ can be hard when you are missing a huge piece of your heart/life.

But...

I love Valentine Day's.  I know seriously, I shouldn't.  It's tacky, says my friends.  Just like I'm not supposed to like birthday, but I do.  I like pink, I  like red, I like hearts. So I meet G in Winchester at our favorite hotel.  On a tuesday afternoon.  Like a teenager sneaking kisses in the parking lot.   I feel complete.  I will remember this... on Mother's Day.

"Here I am staring at your perfection
In my arms, so beautiful
The sky is getting bright, the stars are burning out
Somebody slow it down

Cause in the daylight we'll be on our own
But tonight I need to hold you so close

I was afraid of the dark but now it's all that I want"

Celebrating...

    I got a text from my mom (they are in LA visiting with some new friends) and she told me that they are trying a different nationality of food every night.  I love this.  I thought about it all day.  Maybe because we just introduced them to Indian food for the first 2 weeks ago.  And that my parents are flying to new places and trying new things.  Makes me want my girl.  Just saying.
I am fascinated by all things not American.  I could stare for hrs at skin tones and physical features(in fact, G wonders about me at times).  I want to try every food, anywhere, anytime.  I want to be taught new traditions.  new celebrations.
    Then tonight my brother (and family) invited us over for Chinese takeout (he eats chinese food at the most once a yr, so this makes me want to check his temperature, make sure he isn't deathly ill).  So I guess, in a weird way, we celebrated Chinese New Year. kinda. 

    The other day, my friend called me up and asked me where I was at.  I was 10mins for her house.  And then she simply said "I need You".  It was just for a ride because her vehicle's battery was dead, but....
Those words, they speak.
    I wonder if I was ever told that before (other then my husband of course).  But we get so self dependent.  We need no one.  It is weakness to admit it. We don't want to inconvenience anyone.  We don't want anyone to know about our faults or flaws or needs.
    I wonder what a difference it would make in our world, if we JuSt admitted that we need each other.

Super Bowl isn't so super, but the FRIENDS...

so there is a first time for everything. 
I watched  my first football game ever and first super bowl ever.  We were with some amazing friends that tolerated my retarded questions, like how do you win? or how do you goal? and why are you yelling with excitement when they all are on a pile?

But it's the friends... makes my heart sigh with happiness that my friends love us just the way we are.  Truly amazing.