Joy and Grief

We got our travel dates!!!! We leave May 6 and we will get to see Josie with our own eyes and touch her with our own hands on May 10th. This happens to be on Mothers Day!  I feel overwhelmed with God's arms holding us... I feel Him tightening His hug. He does care about the little details. 

I wonder if people can even feel my excitement because it's so tangled up in grief. Now you are wondering "why grief".

 

My daughter is gaining a mom and a dad. But she doesn't even know what that is. But she knows this.... she is losing everything that she has ever known. First she loss her mama. Now she loses her orphanage friends, her country, the smells, the language, and her nannies. Yes, she isn't in good surroundings. But that is all she knows. 

Imagine any 2 1/2 yr old that you know....imagine how that child would respond if you took them away from everything. And flew away around the world with two pale skins, funny talking, weird smelling people. 

Imagine if it happened to you. Imagine the fear. 

I can't express the love I have for my daughter. Just can't. But I'm also already aching for her pain... Heart crushing pain. 

Adoption is gorgeous but it also comes from loss. 

Do NOT stop praying.  Even after we leave. Even after we get home. Maybe even whisper more... go ahead and fall down and weep to the great Maker and Healer for us. We do not adopt because we feel qualified. But we adopt to follow God's leading and to see God work through our imperfect lives.