Before we all separated into our flights, each family wished me a happy Mother's Day. I choked up every time. They are the best group of friends that we could have. I miss them already. We will meet up again on Saturday and I can't wait!!! We will all have our children.
After our 2 1/2 hr flight, our new guide Melody found us as we were the only whites on the plane :). She took us directly to the hotel to drop our luggage and then out to a local restaurant. She ordered for us because no pictures or English. She did a excellent job, it was great. If you want to take home your leftovers, they put them in a plastic bag.. Weird.
We were on a tight schedule so she showed us the local market and a baby store (ps, in the grocery store if you had a big purse, you had to put it a locked box, so you didn't fill it with stolen food). We hurried back to meet the personal money exchanger in our hotel room at 2:00, because baby comes at 2:30. Apparently the banks are very busy on Sunday's and he gave us a better exchange rate. Lol, how would we know :). He was such a cute smiling old guy.
Never can you fully prepare to meet your child for the first time. She is beautiful. Completely perfect. But the grief knocks you off of your feet. She was afraid to walk into the room. I picked her up and tried to distract her. The guide and nannys were able to get her to smile and was trying to explain to her that we are mama and papa. They did stay a short time and answered questions.
But it all started as they started to walk out the door. The crying. G and mine hearts are completely broken.
She wanted her shoes back on and kept trying to open the door. She wanted out. We could get her to stop sobbing for a while with walks. I think she thought maybe she would get to go back home. Melody said we were going outside to take pictures for the passport and documents. We thought just outside. I took Josie and I thought it was weird that Melody grabbed a bottle and snacks. We ended up heading out in a vehicle to a studio. She laughed at us later about not knowing what was going on. She said that she told us, but we had baby on our minds I guess :).
Josie did great at the picture place, which was important because for the pictures no crying is allowed. She left me hold her and she loved our cheese puff snacks (so thankful that she had grabbed the snacks and bottle) (she is worth her weight in gold).
Again the crying returned as soon as she saw our hotel room again. It's seems like a bad set up for the director and nannys coming here because now our hotel room is the place where she remembers being left behind. She has hives I think on her back from the stress. Heartbreaking. I wonder if her clothes are making her itch. They were all brand new. But she refused to let me take any of them off, not even her shoes. And I didn't have the heart to care.
We tried to do paperwork, while G walked Josie and then reversed. Melody took G to the store to get a extra bottle, formula and kid snacks. And then she left.
I was ready for her to go, because I knew that it was going to get harder without her. And it did. G and I took turns walking Josie, while the other one cried.
Totally heartbreaking!
No words can describe the pain. None.
G was finally able to walk her to sleep. She hasn't sleep soundly, but yet still sleeping.
Please continue to pray... As when she wakes up, she will again remember. It's the hardest thing that we have ever done. To be involved in this grief.
No comments:
Post a Comment