So my mind was telling me that I need to potty train because that's what people expect for a almost 3 yr old.
If I was a good mom, then I would.
We tried it for a hour and she wet herself twice. And she didn't care one bit that she was wet. Not one bit. And it made me angry. So we quit. I am not a good mom. But right now, I want to be happy mom.
People may not understand or see what I do every day. Yes, she is smart, very smart but remember we still have a language barrier. Sure, she understands a lot, but she can't vocalize it. Sitting on the potty brings the tears and the self soothing scratching back. My mind flashes back to the roughest weeks of my life in China. Are we really on a time table? Do I need to bring back the fears?
Just this week she started saying potty when looking at it, but would never tell me if she needs to go. I always have to ask her. If I ask her a question three times in a row, I may get a yes one time, a no the next time, and a yes the next time. Or vice versa.
Sometimes or maybe most times, I will fail to meet others expectations, but know that I'm trying. I am. I have no idea want I'm doing and I am learning from my mistakes. Jumping into a three year old life isn't easy. But it sure is hilarious at times. And thankfully she is very forgiving.
I laugh as I see my faults in her, but it scares me beyond imagination. Sometimes you don't hear how your words sound until they are repeated back to you. She started saying "hey" very loudly if I wasn't paying attention. I realized that was what I was doing if I called her name twice and she wasn't paying attention. It is always when she is doing something that she shouldn't be. I found I don't like it said back to me.
G and I have always disliked when people raised their voices at their kids. But I get it now... It's exhausting to get up and go to your child when they aren't listening or responding to you. It's easier to get loud. Again... I'm trying.
Hats off to you parents. I knew it was a hard work, I just didn't understand how hard. I thank God that we have so many good parents to look to for examples.
Our favorite word of the week is "umb wa wa" for umbrella. 😃 Her accent on the word car is very New York. She learned moon, hurt, sorry, cry, happy, zebra, frog, cow, blocks, book, elbow, knee, brush teeth, tissue, lotion, towel, cold, hot, beep, boom, hey, elephant, airplane, cough, cookie, banana, hug, and go fast. She remembers to wipe her feet inside the door and if you don't, she will remind you with points and noises. She loves to pray before meals and doesn't forget. In fact if we get up to use the restroom, she will want to pray again. She can reply to what is your name and how old are you. Btw, we taught her that she is three. We figured we would save time since her birthday is on the 6th of July 😎. She is pretty much always bare foot now.
She reverted back to using Mama and Baba instead of mommy and daddy. It's kinda heart melting, so we may just stay those titles. Grandma is the only family that she remembers their name. Her favorite food as of now is grapes! She begs for them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She always begs for walks every day and asks to go bye byes every morning noon and night. We have learned that she likes fish. This makes Baba proud being his favorite meat is fish. She loves to sway to music which makes Mama proud. Lol.
I do know that she has stolen our hearts! Completely. I just can't get over how God brought her to us. Special ... Just for us. We are learning to love deeper than we have known. We wouldn't trade her for the world.
"First we had each other.
Then we had you.
Now we have everything."
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