Catching up

A lot of water when over the dam since I last wrote. 

Things are good here at the house, yes, we all have attitude problems daily, and it looks like the house exploded but it’s all good :). It seemed like this winter was the longest one that I have ever experienced, but it’s almost pool weather (we put in the water yesterday!). 

We decided that we wanted another daughter and we choose adoption again and promptly started our paperwork.  After dealing with pain and bleeding with endometriosis for 5+ years and already one surgery under my belt, we decided that it was totally affecting my quality of life and the docs agreed a year ago that there was no saving it. So we decided to quick have the surgery before we finalized the home study so that we wouldn’t have to pay for a update (basically you can’t hiccup without telling the state🙄). So out with it!!  And let me tell you, pain and bleeding free. Wow. It’s a huge blessing!! 

We had talked long and hard with Josie to see if she wanted a sibling and the bottom line was that her only fear as that she would have to go back to China. She thought someone may take her away from us. From her personal experience, you just never know what is around the next corner. There was a lot of explaining about how that’s not going to happen.... in fact over my dead body (I didn’t tell her that part). She is excited about Baby LuLu (a random nickname that G came up with so we didn’t call our new daughter “it”) and she prays for her often. 

I personally thought that I may lose my mind with all the adoption papers floating around and then surgery. And add on top of that, I started doing Sharpie Art drawing to raise a little money.  I’ve made over 60 due to two stores taking a chance on me and a lot of friends that love me. I have loved making each one of them and pray over each one. Ps, I would love to draw one for you too :)

Then this weekend we did a yardsale fundraiser towards the adoption paperwork. It was a huge yardsale and I spent weeks working towards it, pricing and organizing as people donated until my basement was full and flowing into two other room.  It rained non stop for a week or more before and I prayed for sunshine and lost many of sleeps over it. 

But then God supplied sunshine and people....

“Only you, Lord could make the rain hold until we had all things packed up!  Only you, Lord could touch your people to donate, pray for us, and help us set up, and then to come and support by buying!”

The support of my family, our adoptive community, and friends held us through those three days... and reminded us that we can’t do it alone! 

I was utterly spent after Saturday. I told G that I don’t think I have ever worked so hard!  And after it was all over...the emotions came.  A few months ago a friend asked me while looking down at her tiny baby.. “how do you stand waiting knowing that your Baby is probably already born?”  In honesty, I do my best to block the emotions and tell myself that God can protect her. But if you let your mind go, you know that there are children dying from health issues or not enough food, or even abuse. 

And that might be MY girl. 

And then you crack. 

Realizing that it could be a year or two or three or four. 

And then I made the mistake this morning of walking through the little girls section at Walmart and ending up with tiny shoes and a tiny swimsuit. I haven’t had to walk all through the pain that goes along with infertility and it still cuts deep to the soul. Unless you have walked this journey then you are most likely to think I’m fruitcake. And that may be possible. But go ahead and pray for this fruitcake. 

We just finished our 3yr post adoption report for J. It’s hard to believe how she has grown. Today is her last day of Kindergarten and tonight is graduation 🎓. Oh pooie, I’ll probably cry again. 

For China you have 6 months for finalize your documents for your dossier (most of the documents need to created and then have to go through 5 steps). We are at 3 months and had a talk with my family coordinator today and it’s going to be running tight. If they don’t get finished by 6 months then you start over. We don’t want to do that 👀. 

Well, I have a house piled up around me and Josie is having a sleepover tonight with her best friend for the first time ever so she can come to the graduation. I imagine I will be peeling them off the roof several times. Peace out.