To China and Back

It was a hard trip. That's the short and long of it. It was so different than what I dreamed because instead of hugging the kiddos I was in the kitchen chopping, and peeling. I know God had placed me right where I was but it was hard to accept. I was running on 4-6 hrs of sleep a night which emotionally I was overwhelmed too. But God was there. His presence was real. 

Every time I get to go to China it's a dream come true. I just want to keep my eyes open and drink in every detail of my daughters land and culture. Even the "gross".  I looked out my 16th floor hotel window every morning and thought out there somewhere on this side of the world is her biological mom. The mom that chose life. I will never stop being thankful for her mom. 

The children tug on my heart strings. They are being taken care of well, their nannys love them!!  But they still need families. They need to be able to be cuddled and snuggled at night when they are afraid. They need long bath times to splash and be silly. They need a mama to work through their shell to see their true beauty that's hiding. One evening a little girl threw herself into a stiff board and screamed at bedtime. I cried because it was a throwback of Josie. And I see how changed Josie is and how much healing has happened and I want to see it in every one of these precious kids. But I also see the good. I nearly got wet eyes every time that a child held their arms in the air to be held. They know the love of being lifted and squeezed. Josie didn't do that.. she didn't know. Seeing love being poured into these children is priceless. They are truly being the father to the fatherless.  It is run all on donations and if you have a little extra to share... they need it.  https://www.zhanjiangkids.org/

Josie make a list of things she wanted to do while I was gone and it was long :). Sky Zone, ice skating, bowling, buy a fish, go to the mall, play play doh, and on and on. She truly loves her Baba and they had a party. Thankfully I was able to FaceTime them every day. 

I am so thankful for Nola, Sonya, Janette, and Gary. I was worried about Josie while I was gone but apparently there was no need :). In fact I think Josie is annoyed that I'm home. She has said countless times.. "I'm boring" aka for I'm bored. Brat level has leveled up 14 notches. Sheesh.  Next week I plan on cocooning in for a few days. I need a large portion of love and anger management and she needs a portion of respect. 

I am reminded again in how amazing my husband is. He literally had the time of his life taking care of Josie and loving on her.  My friend said early morning Gary always arrived smiling. Yup, that's him. Please Lord help him rub off on me!!  They have always had a special bond but now it seems even closer. I came up from showering last night and he had her pjed, teeth brushed, and hair combed. He is all hands on deck dad.