How God sees what we need

My little inspiration flip calendar is just what I needed the last few days..


"  One day I prayed, "Lord, I feel like I'm in a deep, dark cave right now."  Of course I didn't hear an audible response, but I did sense Him impressing on my heart, You may be in a cave, but you have a choice: you can sit in the dark, or you can diamond-mine your difficulties.

We can decide right now that we're not leaving the caves in our lives empty handed.  We can mine them and take every blessing we discover with us.  There may still be many days when all we do is sit on the floor of the cave and grieve, but we can also walk away with treasures from that time in our lives we would never have found otherwise.  "

Changes...

I feel alone.. and I wonder is God big enough in my life that He is all I need.  I know He is BIG enough, but I need to allow Him to fill my voids.  If I was in a prison cell with nothing, no G, no family or friends, no work, books or other "mind fillers"...

Dear Lord, please fill my mind, shatter my nightmares, crush the devil... Make me strong!

TobyMac - Me Without You (Official Lyric Video)

Crawl (Carry Me Through) - Superchick (lyrics)

Real Love..Adoption

So I have read a post from an adoptive parent telling this story.  That after she adopted, her friend wanted her to promise that she would try to have a child naturally ...so that she could be able to know what true love is. 

"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" Romans 8:23 (NIV).

If 'we' feel like we can't truly love because the child wasn't born from us.. then don't expect to be a 'part' of God's family.  We are naturally dirty, sinful, lonely, lost people.  Only God can clean and save us.. to become a child of the heavenly Father and live in His mansions.

I want to be in China! now!  some days it's not a demanding thought, but today.. it is.
I guess I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.. my study is ending, my mind is focusing on my heart's thoughts.

This weekend is FINALLY here... waited/ looked forward to/ dreaded about for months.  ABO test final on Sunday, but a few weeks ago decided to add to the stress of this weekend.  Why not, I decided, to add my first 5k race to it.

WHAT was I thinking???  But I am not running for me... I'm running for "her" (those precious girls caught in human trafficking) .  Such a amazing cause, I couldn't turn it down.  No, I am not ready to "race" nor win, but I will finish! 

I have studied for 4 months for this test and still wonder if I'm prepared.  I didn't really even want to do it, but my A. Manager signed me up and sure enough, I was picked.  I moaned.. and moaned.  But it was "kinda" fun studying with a coworker.  Now it here.. and I wonder..

God truly has a better plan than I.  He fully distracted me from longing...from my heart aching for 5 months.   When they called and left a voice mail to tell me that I was chosen.. I remember looking up, and asking, God, what are you thinking... I can't!!  I'm too busy to study, can't You see, Lord.  This is not my plans!

God,  you have the best plans!  I can't wait to see what is next :)

I will!

This weekend, my toes and flippy flop attacked a metal garden rake.  equals a hole in the ball of my left foot.  I cried big loud tears..and I thought this is ridiculous.  I will.... go out and do more mulching.  It hurt, but not that bad, I was just angry, I thought that I would have to stop running for a while.  I can't believe that I'm saying that.  I hate/love running.  It's painful, but you get a rush.  For moments, I feel like I'm on the top of the world, good employee, wonderful wife, confident, trimmed to muscle only.  And then I look down.. ah, jiggles, welcome to earth :), I was just hallucinating.

I'm just me, that's what I need to remember.  I can only be me.

What to do about my exercise class?  I decided to get up and go this morning.  Up by 5 to get there by 6.  I'm to start out with 11/2 mile run.  I will...try.

 I made it :)