1. I remember hanging out in the backyard with Mr, just relaxing, all peaceful and calm. And then out of the beautiful stillness, came screaming of neighbors kids. It would go on and on. I would wonder WHY?!?! Are they being hurt? Where are the parents?
What I know now is.... My daughter screams earth shuttering tones randomly. I often ask why. Today the answer is "I'm yelling at the sun, cause it went bye bye. Yesterday the answer was "bird might eat my house". Yes, the parents are here, they are just hanging on the edge of the cliff desperately trying to remain calm.
2. Monday were tough.
Mondays are now tougher. I picked her clothes, she didn't like them, so I LEFT her choose what she wanted to wear. The clothes that SHE picked out, she refused to put them on along with lots of kicking. Because they didn't match my clothes. OH YES, YOU WILL. Two minutes later, crying because her hair was in her eyes and she couldn't see. I asked if she wanted her hair combed and yes she answered. Two seconds later, I'm combing her hair with flat out screaming, because now she's mad that I'm combing her hair.
3. Hand dryers are fun but self flushing toilets are scary.
I don't like hand dryers but now they are hilarious to me. She jumps and rocks her head and laughs and yells in excitement of hand dryers. Who knew they were sooo much fun? But a automatic toilet is straight up scary. She rolls her shoulders up tight and shakes.
4. Your child may scream all evening. And mama may go weep in a random parking lot. And if you see this mama, or any crying mama, don't tell her to enjoy this age because it will go past so quickly. Don't tell her the teenage years are worse. Instead. Hug this mama. Tight. And pray.
5. Softly whispered words that was spoke to herself... "Mama will always come back"...will choke you up more than ever before.
6. There is such a thing as too much birthday. Lol. Yes, you already knew this. I did not.
7. I'm learning to stop comparing my child to other 4yr olds. She will act like a one yr old at times because she just can't express herself with words. There are 3yrs of orphanage life in her history. Grief will pour out when you do not expect it.
8. I need God EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
9. To stop expecting for my people to "get it". God doesn't ask each of us to have the same passions or the same strengths, or the same struggles. I want people to see how beautiful adoption is even when we are low in the valley. I want people to be passionate about stopping abortion. But yet, only God can give you these callings. You may have beautiful God given burdens that you want others to feel too. I'm learning to pray for God to lay His hands on us and touch our lives and to help us to be BRAVE and do what He has called us to.
