Cold vs Hot

I was sweating just looking at my running shoes. 

She was cold so I wrapped her up like a snowman.  

Worth every minute

The need to write swells up in my soul as my emotions are to the edge of over flowing. And normally I'm driving alone in the dark. These a few of my randomness..

So I truly think that G and I are the cat's meow of a couple. 

Now stop, don't be gagging. Just stop.

I want you to feel like that about your relationship. Yes, you should and be stinking confident about it. Own it. 

So back to us. We are cool, yes, only to us, but really our opinions are the only ones that matter in this relationship. 

I'm in love with him, his heart, and his characteristics. He is hilarious to me. He is the calm in my storm. He is truly the most tender hearted man I know. He stands for what he believes. Oh, and is a amazing daddy. I still no idea what he sees in me, but he keeps coming back because he is loyal. 

So with these characters that he has, I'm sure that we could make some awesome biological children. 

But let me tell you, Josie is way cooler than all those characteristics. She is way above any thing that we could have ever imagined. 

She is everything to us.  To me. 

Sure, she can annoy me, but those little arms that grab and hug so randomly are so worth it. When you are trying to walk or work, hugs that grab on and won't let go. Or those random kisses to whatever body part closest to her which doesn't exclude your hiney. 

We will stay up every night to stop her crying because we were picked by God. We get to comfort her.  

I am incredibly lucky. I am beyond imagination... blessed.

 

People tell me the miracle of birth, which I believe is a true miracle. 

But adoption is a miracle too and will always over rule in my heart. God made me that way. He put the adoption passion in my heart as a teenager. 

People tell me that you will never know true love until you birth a child. 

I believe you will never know true love until you adopt. Until you trust God enough to follow into the unknown. 

People tell me that they are proud of me for doing this as if this is a noble deed.

People don't tell other  people that they are proud of them for becoming pregnant.

Don't be proud, be jealous.
Because even in the middle of the night....

There is absolutely nothing I would rather be doing.
This child that only by the grace of God, I get to call my daughter, is awesome.  

Some days are better

Some days are better than others. Today was one of those. I don't want to close my eyes becsuse then it will be gone...

We started at the dentist. These people love kids and it shows. 

A cold, wet, and very rainy day equals a chai tea. And I don't like hot drinks normally. But today it spoke cotton candy and rainbow like thoughts into blood veins. 

Then we babysat and the kiddos actually played well together. We played games and colored and stuck stickers everywhere.  I needed that. I was feeling like a total failure of a mom. I have no idea what I'm doing. 

J wearing a "veil" aka coffee filter....  Humbles a soul to see someone that wants to be like you. 

Yes, we NEEDED to take a walk in the rain. Because... Well just because. 

We just wanted a excuse to use our umbrellas ;) 

And well.... She WANTED to wear mama's jacket. Long arms anyone. 

I dragged my paints back out. I'm so excited. I felt as if a little piece of me was coming back as I sat dipping my paint brush and listening to music. And it seemed right on a rainy day. Never mind that I could use my artistic mind and draw in the dust coating my furniture. I'm not looking. You better not either.